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This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.

Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.

I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.

Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).

“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.

You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.

First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.

Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.

So, you can say “Walk, please” instead of “No running”. Children are programmed to question, analyze and wonder about situations.

I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. This can sometimes present itself in an argumentative manner, but this is actually a normal part of development.

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You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.

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