All the tension I'd felt growing up about feeling included started to release to the point I felt anxiety knots in my neck actually start to disappear. You never argue about what to watch on Netflix, what to order on Seamless, or what movie to see at the theater.
I didn't have to worry so hard about appealing to anyone else. I never have to pause a conversation or ask for some alone time to finish for the third time.
That's something I've worked really, really hard for.
It's something I'm proud of and it's something I'll try to share with whoever joins me next.
When people ask me who I'm dating/if I'm dating/why I'm still single, it’s hard not to get frustrated.
I don't want them to pin all their single-life anxieties on me.
I made myself laugh more and stopped doing things I didn’t want to do. I stopped being so hard on myself about making new friends.
It didn't happen all at once but like any good relationship, slowly but surely, we got to know each other better.
For once, I let myself think really hard about what I wanted and where I wanted to see myself.
My relationship dialogue is with myself and I'm finally okay with that.
What I want to say is this: Being alone doesn't have to be synonymous with feeling lonely.
Take yourself out for dinner, take yourself on a picnic in the park, and take yourself to the beach to watch the sunset. Take moments to do absolutely nothing except breathe. When we take time out to be grateful for the legs that hold us, or the eyes that allow us to see, the ears that allow us to hear music, or the talents that let you shine a little differently, our perspective begins to shift. Remember, when you take the time to intentionally date yourself, you actually start to find your identity.